“We couldn't have more excitement if Elvis walked in and asked for a chip sandwich.” Sid Wadell
Before a match I like to relax with 25 bottles of Holsten Pils and six steak n' kidney pies.
Andy Fordham on his MySpace page
“Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow.” Sid Wadell
“It's in his genes - it's in his 501s. Cushty-wushty.”
Bobby George, former world darts finalist and BBC commentator. Never knowingly under-punned.
“This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.” Sid Wadell
All this cuddling and kissing on stage these days, well it's all right in football when someone scores a goal, but not when you're playing darts.
Darts really can help with literacy.
BBC presenter Ray Stubbs to Sports Minister Richard Caborn. That'll be numeracy, Ray.
Who let the dogs out?
The Lakeside crowd after the tournament's first streaker on the oche in 2001 as Ted 'The Count' Hankey played Shaun Greatbach.
Shaun's broken-hearted because it was his first time here and he didn't perform.
Hankey gets a hankey ready for his opponent.
I wasn't nervous during the match but the streaker certainly affected my game. I just wish I'd got her name and address!
Greatbach gets the shakes.
He even went to Transylvania for his honeymoon.
Commentator Tony Green on the Dracula-loving 2000 BDO world champion Hankey.
Fangs ain't what they used to be.
Green warms to his theme.
I asked for the air-conditioning to be turned off, because it was blowing my darts all over the shop.
A technical glitch puts the wind up Mervyn King during his 2003 Lakeside final defeat.
At the end he effed and blinded at me. I'll see him upstairs in a minute and we'll see how big and brave he is.
Taylor crushes Mason but is unhappy with his beaten opponent's reaction.
If he wants to sort it out in the car park, I will see him there. I am a bigger man than him.
Mason hits back, although careful you don't scratch the Bentley, Chris.
I feel to receive a considerable amount of money due to the past week's exposure would be in bad taste and undermine my sincere regret.
Mason apologises and reveals he turned down a spot on Celebrity Big Brother. No, really.
Is ballrooming dancing a sport? It's recognised as a sport but I don't see any balls there.
Bobby George defends darts as a sport.
Painter didn't play well early on - you could say he was up and down like a paint brush.
George turns to some DIY commentary.
Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is a firm press on a soda siphon.
Commentator Sid Waddell on one of darts' biggest stars. In every sense.
William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea.
Tribute to 'The Power'.